cobaltika

so there. i did it.

NO GARAGES OR FUNKY LITTLE HOUSES!

i *can* make pictures of other things.

see?

(there are also more. in progress. the River…)

making two vows and a project

this weekend is supposed to be beautiful and even … warm! … possibly 60 degrees. it turned out to be not a wise weekend to have a car (economic difficulties) so i must stay in town with the same old things. however… i am going to go out with Aretha and i am going to make pictures of things that are not sheds or garages. i am going to attempt to avoid architecture altogether.

it is going to be a very hard project for me.

but i am determined.

i am also going to get my artTable messy.

. . . . . . .

. . . . . . .

i like these.
three white sheds in winter

i’m still around. it’s still winter. a rough one for me. filled with confusion, regret, wonder and a mild depression. the artTable remains terrifyingly tidy. i try to amuse and comfort myself with social activities that make me feel more an alien than ever. i read and read and read. i try not to eat white food. and yes, i still walk around and make pictures of … structures … 18 degrees or not. yesterday i tried hard to See Things other than sheds and mean places, but somehow crusty snow, dead leaves and little burrs and berries on the ground just weren’t working for me.

i *am* grateful the pictures are working at least - and though viewers might be, i am not bored with my subject matter. i don’t know why. i am concerned about the lack of inspiration and energy for handwork however, because i need to have happy hands. happy hands = happy heart at my house. and babyjebus do i ever need some happiness in my heart these days. i did wear red kneehighs and red panties for Chinese New Year however. and that makes some happiness *somewhere* inside.

onward…

a little dreamPlace, blanco TX

i guess these are my last Texas photos for now. maybe a few random ones. and some family ones that i will play with and save, of course. now what? more sheds? more Mean Little Places? more textures? hmmmm. i don’t think i’ve made any snow pictures yet this year. i need a project. i’m not sure what it shall be. but i’m thinking …

this image has pretty much to do with nothing. except for the fact that it was made Today.
a good day.

all weekend i worked inside, doing house things that needed doing. things ignored since before the christmas escape. one small and pleasant outing kept me from complete agoraphobia. seriously, i couldn’t believe i was staying IN on such pretty days, but … duty calls? it seemed the right time to do my year-ending/beginning rituals, since i was away at the ending/beginning. so i cleaned, tossed and sorted. i tried to catch up on both emotional and physical things. i finished the KCW Directory! (oh. finally…) i said truths. and i slept.

today - a holiday! meaning no fluorescent prison! - the artTable in nighties with coffee is always a good start. then i walked downtown with the JamCam dangling and met Traci for lunch and catch-up time, tried to buy new panties at Weaver’s but became far too frustrated, bought some little groceries at The Casbah then walked home. since then i have been in the process of completion of my 2008 journal, of which i have never showed one page, have i? well… now it is done, some of it in retrospect, of course. i played all of the CD’s that the girls and Andrew made for me in Austin, i didn’t cry over that one song that i told Betsy i would, but i have waited two weeks, so … safer … then cleaned off the artTable and readied it for … ?? … the new year at least. it feels good. i feel like i have let go lots of ugly things (within) from the last months. i am more clear and more hopeful. less frozen. less dead.

today is my new year’s day.

onward.

on the last day of the year 2008 i woke much earlier than the other occupants of the house in Austin i was staying in (of course). i took my newcam, Aretha, and a few dollars in my pocket and drove (the Texas way!) a few blocks to Jo’s on South Congress for my morning coffee. it was too early for hipsters, instead there were homeless folks, people awaiting the bus to go to work and a few people my age, all sitting like sunflowers with our faces in the rising sun and the grackles cackling at our feet. damn i love grackles.

when the coffee was at a manageable level for walking, i began to wander and shoot. there were FLOWERS - sweetpeas in December. i could not have been more delighted. everything looked beautiful to me. it was warm.

lastly, i stopped in Texas French Bread and the darling tiny market, Farm to Market to procure breakfast breads and juice for my loved ones, still sleeping - Betsy, Margaret and Andrew. i felt the greatest happiness.

of course they didn’t wake for hours still, so i sat in the yard in a wicker chair under large live oaks and read a book. the dog kept me company. we ate some of the bread. sometimes he barked at squirrels. it was a wonderful morning.

more and more i forgive Texas many things - even the obsessive Car Culture - because of the live oaks. i adore them.

of course there are more photos here