cobaltika

jamcam manipulation of local church-turned-condo

so the weekend was so-so. i’m really over summer. i am too agoraphobic in summer. i did not go out and ride my bike. i did not go out to the farmer’s market. i *did* clean up a bunch of website stuff. laundry. finished a couple dozen handmade biz cards (gasp! at the artTable!). um. talked to my mother. watched two films. and spent many hours in the dark dank spider-infested basement in a state of nostalgia, cleaning and sorting the girls’ boxes of STUFF. god i hope they don’t mind that i threw out lots of bottles of dried up nailpolish, crusty lipglosses and keychains with dirty fluffy things on them. etc. and Teen magazines. sorry, chickies! somehow i ended up with a nice fatStuffed trashcan in the alley again. that was the only time i went outside, to lug things out. it was nauseating. so hot and bright. give me nice gloomy autumn days again, please. i can’t wait!

man-eating plants : arcata california

what … *are* these plants??

this is not a trick of perspective. they really *are* that big, about the height of a person or higher. they seem to be some kind of lupine or veronica on steroids.

i would like to know…

ok. c’mon, all you people trying to tempt me with california. tell me!

i am going through a pretty unsettling time and am certainly not feeling very artful lately. i am glad to still have a few images from california to play with. even though looking at them only adds to my confusion and sense of division and imbalance. it is so frustrating. it seems to be the ultimate libran period of my life. normally i tend to have trouble with indecision, but this seems very bad. and i have to make the decisions and plans myself. no one to lean on. yes, others to consider. and their disappointment. not all can be pleased at the outcome. i can’t please everyone. (though i long to) now i am older, risks feel so much more dangerous. even more so than when i had two small daughters. the economy sucks. i should feel lucky and grateful to have a stable (for now) job. why can’t i just settle down for a bit longer? hang in there? (ride the hamster wheel) no. i want to FLY. but Where? that is a problem. and then comes How. i know i know. this is convoluted and vague. i don’t write much of my personal life here in public any longer and only a few are familiar with my dilemma. i don’t know why i am writing this now, in fact. maybe i wanted to apologize for my artlessness (to who?). or feel real in public. or something. maybe i want someone to send a magic wand. fairy dust of confidence and possibility. the ability to read the symbols and signs. god life is awkward. does it *ever* get easier? EVER?

i’m clearing out my Etsy shop, in preparation for a move, to where i’m not sure, but i’m sure it will be teeny-tiny. i don’t know what kind of work i will be doing next, but it will likely change and i think i will start trying to sell on my website again. or maybe in person? or maybe not at all? all i know is that it is time for a change. maybe lots of changes. i’ve reduced my prices ridiculously at Etsy and *only* at Etsy. if i put my work up for sale again, it will not be at such idiotic prices! i just want some of it to move on to new homes. maybe yours?

except for a few random images that will appear, the end of the travel photos - here

this was a most strange and interesting little village. Samoa was just across the bay bridge from Eureka, we drove through on the way back to Arcata one day. i was fascinated, but we were not in the mood to wander. so we returned the next day, with cameras - ready to explore.

apparently Samoa was a little factory village, with cottages for workers to live in. of course, the factories are now closed down, but the cottages remain. most of them appear inhabited. they are not glossy, or fixed up, for the most part. the paint is peeling in a way that looks very beachy to me, and i admired it. many of the houses have small yards with picket fences.

the lane that was most fascinating to us, was the one full of still-gaily-painted cottages that were completely boarded up. every single cottage on each side of the lane. these cottages seemed meaner than the ones with little yards and picket fences, but were of similar architecture and age. they did not seem to be falling down. just abandoned. we longed to know why. but still do not.

only one person spoke to us in the town (which seemed very very quiet). a woman who appeared from a tidy cottage and asked us what we were photographing and told us about the homeless cat that margaret was petting. we told her “cottages and flowers”, but were shy to ask questions, even though the woman was very friendly. she stated that she loved living there - and had moved there from LA when her daughter came to college in Arcata. of course margaret and i looked at each other with silent giggles - as she is trying to lure me there, too.

i tell you, if they would give me just one of those boarded up cottages. i might do it!
(yes. i know. then i would have to have a CAR - hmmm … but maybe a scooter would work?)

i remain fascinated and mystified despite google research.

i couldn’t decide whether to put the wind farm or the salt flats out here. or … or … i love them all. thank margaret for the capture of the wind farm and the west texas. i couldn’t do driveby’s at 70-80 MPH (only on the straight roads, thank you, and if it was allowed). yes, i thought about hypermiling. i tried even. but it seemed to take SO LONG to get to texas at 65MPH. we had a lot of ground to cover and not much time. but i am very glad i stopped to make some images. yes indeed.

now that i am almost normal again, it is like childbirth, and i am only remembering the GOOD. not the exhaustion, or the gas prices, or that truckdriver motel where someone must have been in my room smoking a carton of cigarettes each day for a month. i am in recovery from McD’s breakfast burrito (with no meat, so at least i’m getting a fresh one) and the afternoon Caramel Frappacino (light, please) from Starbucks (two travel addictions courtesy of margaret), convenience store bathrooms and coffee and those chemically-nasty energy drinks, Dentyne Fire Ice mints - anything to stay alert.

why. i’m almost ready to go again! wheeeeeeeeeee!

i have been so tired and sleepy since returning that i only played with images last night for the first time. needless to say, as most time away was spent flying down the highway at a great speed, or else whiteknuckling it around swooping curves in excessively dramatic landscapes, there weren’t too many images made this trip. more than i imagined, though! for a few days, we were “settled” in Arcata, so i was able to wander on the cool foggy mornings while margaret slept in. so lovely, those mornings. we also made some side trips to pretty places. i will show later. and i even stopped at “viewing areas” amidst the dramatic landscapes and gawked and snapped a little. but later…

i have to admit Arcata seemed sort of a little paradise, albeit a crusty one (which i prefer, of course). if it were even somewhat practical for me to consider it - and i wouldn’t feel like margaret’s stalker - i would seriously consider wanting to live there. Eureka was also interesting, but only the downtown and nearby parts. they had a lovely downtown. big artstore. farmer’s market. boats. what else does one need? oh yeah. employment.