cobaltika

saturday morning pretty and cool and i don’t have to scurry today. a lazy weekend. my poet says it is krishnamurti’s birthday and we must celebrate. we might go to eudora and wander around then. ha ha. as i am learning to like wandering in nature with him, he is learning to like wandering in small towns with me. now if we only could agree on the temperature of the house. i thought writing a little would be pleasant but my nails are too long and clack and trip. i will cut them before any more work in the garden for sure. i will plant more things today. i decided to dig up no more grass. it is just too tedious. some seeds are growing but not very fast. finally the house has dried up and doesn’t smell like mold and ancient cat piss. good.

what else? oh. i cut off some hair yesterday. i mean *he* did. no more of those layers that turn into fuzzy clumps. now it is all one length and shorter. it doesn’t look very good actually, because there is too much product in it. after i wash it out and crunch it up and make it BIG, it will be better. just a little though. i am growing out my bangs and a paper bag would probably look best. or a babushka.

sometimes i wonder if i will always make pictures of the same things over and over.

i like getting up early on saturday. but i can’t stand these fingernails. bye!

probably it would be nice to dedicate the set to the lost kansas town of greensburg. so sad and frightening to see it flattened like that. we used to pass through on the way to meet the girls’ dad at a halfway point from new mexico, when we first moved here. once we stopped at the Big Well. it was a little old town like the kind i love to go see and photograph.

this past weekend my poet and i went on a little wander. i returned to Winchester, which i had passed through once and wanted to look at more closely. then went to Nortonville, which i was very surprised by. i can’t quite put into words the way things were layered and so visually interesting for me. i probably could have stayed there all day. next time i shall ask my poet to bring a book and some snacks and let him stay in the little park while i investigate. sometimes i am afraid i am taking too long. then to Atchison, which is really a little city. lunch by the river, olives, foccacia, juice and chocolate. waxwings and western kingbirds. then wandering around the Benedectine College and surrounding victorian neighborhood. quite nice.

in each of the little towns, someone came out a door (of a business, not home) and asked “can i help you?”. it was disconcerting. i wasn’t sure if they had watched too much television and were paranoid about a person with a camera. or if they just wanted to chat about their little town. i didn’t know quite how to respond. i almost felt guilty. finally in Atchison, in a neighborhood, a man was mowing the grass in front of a wonderful house. actually the one with that window. he was happy to stop and chat about his house for a bit. so we listened. it was a good day.

nope. not blown to Oz. or gone down the muddy Kaw river. still here. still raining. small reprieve yesterday however. and actually saturday was QUITE lovely. we went wandering. found new small towns and made pictures. have tried to upload them for playing-with for a couple of days, but no luck. maybe tonight? looked at things and had a sweet time. on sunday, big rain, and i had to be pulled out of the house by my ankles practically. have rental car MUST go… so we did. even though it seemed a better day for books and the artTable. to kansas city. to the Kemper. a walk in the park during a lull. seeking goslings. more rain. to the movies. Black Book (good!!) then tapas at La Bodega. a sleepover in a vacant house. up in the morning, breakfast at a dive, medical errands, groceries at Wild Oats, then home to try to dry out the house and clean mold off the studio carpet. YUK. and then back to the grindstone. hi.

midweek. feels like it should have been friday yesterday. made about 6 dozen handmade bizness cards this week. (what will i do with them?) all week has been gray damp and springGreen. english weather (or irish?). except for monday, which was beautiful (and hot), and made escaping the office and walking to the dentist’s with my pencam a treat. 2.5 hours at the dentist was not a treat. no. i don’t want to write about it. i am just getting it all done, then paying. then *really* going every 6 months, like a goodGirl. daydreamy this morning. and sleepy. and very hungry already. eating is not much fun with a temporary crown. i’m so afraid it will come off. i am growing out my bangs and it is horrid. but i am *determined* this year. this is the week to worry most about betsy. mostly i just want my girls to be healthy and happy. why is it so hard? i wish i had a magic wand. i thought i had something else i wanted to write about, but it seems to be lost. this will be the weekend of the car. i want to go somewhere strange and make pictures.