cobaltika

kitchen cupboard : january 07 : miss jemima

i think i’ll keep her. yesterday we went out for a little test walk, to pick up a rental car, and i was quite pleased with the results. i think i might fall in love with her! i LOVE having Big Zoom again! i am so happy to be handling a Lumix again. the fit is so comfortable for me. and the Canon will have a new home, hopefully a very happy one. again, feeling a little sad about detaching from a camera. silly. i just can’t keep them all and i need the $$ to payoff this one.

yesterday was fine. a city day. since we had to have a car to take betsy to the airport on monday morning (SOB), we went to kansas city for the movies and mexican food. we saw Children of Men at the fancy Plaza theatre with great seats. oh it was so excellent. visually, of course, for me, the urban deterioration. oh my. and the tale, the loss of hope, with the music. it was timely and strange and sad. plus exciting! highly recommended. to Mi Cocina for early dinner. NOT recommended. god. if a restaurant is going to pile thick beefy chili on a cheese enchilada they should SAY. the alternative was this weird sour cream sauce. we all felt a bit ill afterwards. but i cheered up at the Paper Source. i splurged. 4 large sheets of printed paper, pink and red, 2 were japanese screen prints, i think. something amazing, because i was stunned at the price. to avoid hoarding, i cut into them immediately and glued some into my new visual journal. hell yeah!

and what about today? what will be? so far i am lazy in my nightgown. trying not to feel sad, betsy leaving, worried about margaret. i love them so much and miss them, though i am glad they are brave and adventurous, creative and so smart. even a little worried about my poet. love can be so achey. it is grayish. i thought to drive somewhere with my camera, in that little car, but hmmmmm. so lazy…

eat cake : new camera Lumiz FZ7 : aka “miss jemima”

betsy was convinced not to make any more fudge.

instead she decided to make a cake! four layers of yellow cake layered with strawberry goop (i think it really had some kind of a french name), cream, and chocolatey cream. with a light chocolate frosting and a surface painting made of the french-named stuff. oh MY! it was beautiful *and* delicious.

and of course an opportunity to experiment with Miss Jemima, my new camera. this is the one i have wanted since about a week after i purchased the Canon. she told me her name as soon as she jumped out of the box. she wants to stay and not be sent back (both the FZ50 and the spycam have gone back). i am pretty sure i will keep her. there has been little testing time the last couple of days, and i have not been impressed yet, but i will take her out this weekend and we will play a little together. i want to love her. i do.

random image from summer 05 : vivicam

i am going crazy already this morning! it is only 8am! i am trying hard to organize and present some images on my artSite in a way that is logical and fresh without trying to present *everything*. just a good sampling. i can’t make it work and there is just Too Much. i am going through image folders … there are THOUSANDS. i am not kidding. and i love so many of them. but i don’t know what to DO with them. i’m sure they are more orderly than many may have stored. some might even call my systems rather anal. i can find things. i just don’t know what to PICK. my poet and i have a project that i have totally slacked on, because every time i go to my images to pick what works with what, i get anxious and irritated. NO MORE COFFEE this morning please.

god i almost want to just throw them all away and start over.

no. of course i won’t, but … ERRRRGH!

jamcam : january 2007 : lawrence kansas 

it is hard to get in the groove of being back in the office for sure. after four days off, after a slackerWeek, i am not feeling ambitious. plus things seem confusing and off -kilter somehow.

and WTF? do i look stupid? my first two ebay sales. one seems to be progressing smoothly, pending delivery and pleasure of the recipient. but the other. jebus. he did it a buy it now, with a description of US MAIL only and PAYPAL only. finally two days later he says he paypaled (but he didn’t), and he is no longer registered and he wanted me to ship my nice Canon to his cousin in Nigeria??? is that a new kind of scam? DUH. i don’t think so!

finally finished the LOTR trilogy last night and was GLAD to be done with it! ok! i watched it! but i am still wondering what was the big deal. the first one was sweet. there was magic and mystery and elf kingdoms to admire. not to mention elfSpeak. oh! but the second two were just fighting fighting fighting. ho hum. and our library-issued DVD managed to FAIL just as the ring was *finally* being disposed of! my poet had to tell me what happened! oh well. i was glad not to have to see that creepy little golom’s face One More Time.

near the end, i felt restless and irritable. partly because i have not moved around enough and have eaten poorly this weekend. too much junk and i hope to god betsy is not going to make any more fudge. then i realized some of the irritation was because already, with my new energies and inspiration, i am spreading too thin again. trying to crank out new journals and pages. they are UGLY. i don’t want to waste my time on ugliness. i HATE that purple paint. so what if i used it all up? UGLY. and i don’t really *want* to pick up trash and make art out of it!! and i don’t want to post in multiple journals and on flickr and my own site and god knows where all. i don’t want a bunch of cameras. i want that lumix fz7 (and i want it TODAY! i hope it comes!). i don’t want all those clothes stuffed into my drawers. i don’t want to mess with weirdo’s on ebay. i don’t even know if i want all these art ideas and projects in my head.

i want things simple clean and lovely. i want focus.

so it seems i need to re-think everything again. onward.

it has been great having FOUR days off. i have worked so hard at the artTable that my spine is nearly frozen. i have been in sort of a frenzy of Making. prepared board books. a new visual journal. a glorified debris journal. the supports for the glorified debris pieces themselves. other stuff. trying to clean out and use up. *and* update my artSite, too. it is such a mess and so outdated. i am thinking i shall run it more like a photoblog now, with new things appearing and somehow have galleries with my favorite oldstuff. and maybe i will just write here (if you could call it that, exactly). i’ll probably make some images, too. i guess. i don’t know! i just want to DO everything and do it now.

yesterday was a good first day. posole made, and champagne imbibed, just as planned. traci and her boy came over, we all ate, then traci and i retired to artMaking. we worked into the night. she was making the most amazing journal ever. i was a little shamed by my altered book journal, but hell. i will be so excited if i just keep it up. in my own messy way. a visual journal seems so important.

tonight we will finish the LOTR. number three. they are fun, but i don’t see what all the Big Deal was about…

what else? betsy has safely returned from her First Road Trip and returned the rental car without a dent. yay for her! little margaret. i miss her so much…it seems shocking that she has lived away from home for a year now. i wish so much for them to be happy.

other things, i guess. but more art. more. now…