cobaltika

while travelling over the holidays, i released nearly all of the rest of the small pieces. again, i found it more difficult than it *should* be, to leave things. sometimes i would forget altogether and i missed some great spots. once, my companion caught me sliding one behind the stand-up dessert flyer at a stripMall salad eatery in oklahoma. “why here?” he asked. “no one *here* will care.” i didn’t admit that i had left them in many careless places. i tried to explain my concept of release without attachment, but i don’t think i did a very good job. he still thought i was wasting them. maybe i am.

i try hard to release in good spirit, but i can’t help wondering if any are found and if they are appreciated. i do wonder how many are trashed. but i also realize that i am abundant and productive and there is more more more within. if just Time were more abundant! ha.

next weekend will be a quick visit to Boston, to view my oldest daughter’s end of semester theatre work. i love to think i will have time to create a small special set to take with me. but there is the 8-5 and freelance work due, so we’ll see…

one of my favorite texas photos. in pam’s potteryBarn. she is still getting settled but there were some sweet details. sigh.

so this weekend is errands and work (on the KCW directory). trying to get websites up and running again. wondering why i spend so much energy on it. desk is a mess (to me). artTable. ha ha ha. hoping the sun doesn’t come out so i don’t see the dust and dirty kitchen counters. still need a coat dammit. going to Boston next weekend. maybe the one coming from Lands End will finally work. still icy outside. storm windows are down. seems way too early for all this cold but i loved wearing my purple snowBoots. need to clean out my closet. so much junk i won’t wear but won’t toss. why? um. what else? caught a mouse!! feel like i am forgetting to do things that need to be done but my mind feels so wobbly. i am still out of touch with my interior. i can tell. onward though!

oh dear. the webbie’s worst nightmare has come to pass. i went to my site today to find something and … nothing. just a page showing a cgi-bin folder. huh? tried encounteredArt. same. tesoros? same. hmmmm. checked the support page, all servers running 100%. checked my controlpanel. HEY. how did i get all that storage space? i was almost maxxed out. opened FTP to see my files. um. nothing. WIPED OUT. what a strange feeling. had i been hacked to bits?

no. a highpriority support ticket response indicated that server 19 - *my* server - had crashed in the middle of the night and Everything was Lost. wow.

i’m trying not to freak or be too distressed. *almost* everything was backed up. but not the new Tesoros. or encounteredArt. i’m afraid those are GONE. whether or not i will continue them, i’m not sure right now. most of cobaltika can be restored, but i wonder how much i want to restore? i’ve needed to update my art site for a couple of years but have been so lethargic about doing it. in a way, i have been internet-weary lately and the idea of purge is rather a relief. it is an opportunity to start afresh. i think i will choose excitement over irritation.

and besides my hosts gave a nice big upgrade to all of the victimas! i like upgrades!