cobaltika

a shed in north lawrence : diana+

this and (click image for a few more on flickr) are some shots from the last roll of film on that Diana+ i just *had* to have for my birthday last year. i *did* give it a chance, really. but i never really liked my results much, especially when i compared them with my Valiant, a diana clone camera. it would not capture the way i wished and i think the New Plastic lens is just sort of shabby. it doesn’t have that dreamy vintage quality of the Old Plastic lens. so i sold it on eBay earlier this year. i really am trying to downsize. when i go to the basement i am terrified.

i am also going to start getting rid of artStuff i have hoarded. none of it is really good enough to bother trying to sell on eBay or trade, so it will likely go into black trash bags. last night, i was looking for images and colors for a new book in progress and realized my ephemera is very very boring (to me). i must do it soon, as the Free Sale at the library is this weekend!

mostly lately i have been scanning tons of film and working on altered books. i have some of the new ones scanned and will show them soon. they are odd. i haven’t been working on small pieces to sell on etsy, but i need to. there is a certain energy of creating and selling that really dwindles when i slow down. but there is only one of me!!!

otherwise … same as it ever was.

this is not today, but it looks like it. i haven’t had a camera out, wandering, in weeks, it seems like. since i returned home from the holidays? it has been very cold and the sidewalks are often treacherous and i have been so busy and tired. yesterday there was a fresh and beautiful snow to walk out into at 7:30am, but there were no more AAA batteries for the pencam. and i didn’t feel like deciding what to take instead. i was late as usual anyway.

the first part of the week i am highly motivated and come home from work every evening and go straight to the artTable after dinner. by wednesday i am drooping and by thursday i am rebellious. it does not help that my space is incredibly cold, even with the little heater running. i also need to either find a new chair or a new way of working, because i am killing my upper spine. last night i just gave up and went to bed with a book. not especially better for my spine, but warmer anyway. i began reading The Road (Cormac McCarthy). and i did not go to sleep until i reached the end. jeez. i *meant* to get more sleep last night! but i could not stop. i am fascinated by post-apocalyptic culture and lifestyle and fantasize and actually dream of that world often. but i accept that my my visions are fluffy and idealistic (”back to nature”, simplicity, “people helping people”, etc) and that McCarthy’s vision is probably much more likely and accurate. terrifying and bleak. but it was a wonderful read.

anyway, it is friday thankgod. a 3-day weekend. and even though it will be a working weekend and FRIGID, i am glad for it.

just when i snap off my big mouth about “no more small stuff” and “no more clipped text” i start having lots of fun with it and can’t stop. buh. i *do* want to make big work this year and i WILL. but. um. maybe not just yet? i keep telling myself i must stop using found text, because it is now as trite as pointy hats on fairies (sorry), but then the perfect pages come along and the words just fall together and it is just so much FUN. even my poet says i “do it well”. so maybe i should discontinue any pronouncements about what i will and won’t do and just do what feels right? or should i kick my ass and take some risks with uncomfortable stuff? erf. anyway, they are on etsy, of course. and they are FUN.

no. this is not where we stayed. i considered it, but the reviews on tripadvisor were gruesome, so we picked another set of crusty cottages, which were just fine. these were catty-corner across the street. the last morning i loaded up the Valiant and went exploring. i actually thought it was abandoned, as there was only one car and the “open” light was off. my family picked me up as i was finishing up, just as i caught the manager staring at me from the darkened office. RUN!!

these are probably my favorite, and best, toycam shots EVER. i LOVE my valiant. even though she is falling apart.

it has been workBizzy both at home and in the office and my cameras and the artTable are covered in dust. on saturday, during errands, i picked up some film i had left a week ago. BLEH. i am back to the state where i NEVER want to mess with realFilm again. what a huge waste of $$. $25 and there were about 6 images in 3 rolls that possibly deserved a second glance. only in desperation though. very depressing. i know i have not been exactly charmed with my environment lately and i often force myself out for seeing exercises, but hell. i’d better stick to the digital for those exercises hmmmm? my XA2 let me down for the first time and i have never quite figured out the Smena.

i was pretty excited to take the Holga out again. but had forgotten her atrocious lightLeak (PS’ed out of this image, but click for more on flickr). it is very dramatic and BAD in every single frame. otherwise, i rather like her again. i only used the close up filters once and that was before i read the information on focussing length, so never mind about that.

now instead of fantasizing about a used film SLR on eBay and teaching myself Real Photography, i am thinking about abusing the lens of a digital crapcam. i think film mistakes are just not in my budget right now.

otherwise, working, reading, sleeping, dreaming, plodding, eating beans and chocolate ice cream and watching some French films.

and there is some little green stuff in my garden.

earth day 2007 : holga double exposure