cobaltika

well never mind. here is my first and probably last phone cam image. BLEH. there was actually a little sun on the way home today and it was the only camera on hand. i was desperate. besides. isn’t that why i just *had* to have this razr upgrade (it was free thank god)? a. the girls said it was a cool phone. b. it had a camera!!!

it felt a good deal sillier to be pointing my phone at stuff instead of some little sweet crappycam. and i couldn’t see what i was doing anyway. and my fingers always miss the right button. then i came home and did not have a clue how to actually GET them. off the phone. the manual was not helpful. nor was the verizon website. i felt stupid, but i wanted the damn things so persisted. finally a couple of them (including one from last summer, where i finally gave up and left it in the phone) ended up at some flix and pix joint, where i managed to drag and drop them to my desktop. and they SUCKED! i tampered and glamorized, of course.

it was all such a pain and not worth it at all!! i can’t believe i wasted the whole evening doing this thing. i meant to go out for a walk. well at least now i know!! give me my jamcam any day!!

this morning, i am playing with my cameras and the images from new films of yesterday in order to avoid both the artTable and the “garden” (which i still haven’t finished digging). i am still in my nightie and the bed is not made. it is sunny today. i have dusted off my Holga and put a step-up ring on her to hold a bundle of closeup filters and given her a snap-on cap. there is black photo tape holding her together. she hasn’t been out in a couple of years and is very excited. i don’t know where we will go yet.

and i want to take the new yellow plastic camera that traci gave me out again. oh oh! i like Sunny so much that i might not even put nailpolish in her eye. and the cheap film was excellent. i put some samples on flickr. also some black/white film from the Olympus XA2 and some film from the Valiant, who went to the prairie with me a couple of weeks ago. i think i am having an idea for a project, but don’t want to think or talk about it, because it seems i don’t carry things through. last night i sat at the artTable while my poet watched a tedious film of MacBeth and tore and cut up tons of started things and put them in the trash. then i poured the bottle of crackle medium that i never could make work into it, so i would be sure not to get that stuff back out. it felt both good and sad. we went to the art center yesterday and saw the preview for the auction. most of the stuff was not interesting to me, but i felt like a shit, what could i say. at least they put their stuff out in the world. i am feeling pretty unhappy about my work or lack thereof lately. sure there are some images. thousands of them. all sitting on a chip in my computer. whoopee. last night my poet asked if i were depressed. i don’t think so, not officially anyway, but i do feel quite melancholy lately. ick.

maybe i will eat ice cream for breakfast.

random image from summer 05 : vivicam

i am going crazy already this morning! it is only 8am! i am trying hard to organize and present some images on my artSite in a way that is logical and fresh without trying to present *everything*. just a good sampling. i can’t make it work and there is just Too Much. i am going through image folders … there are THOUSANDS. i am not kidding. and i love so many of them. but i don’t know what to DO with them. i’m sure they are more orderly than many may have stored. some might even call my systems rather anal. i can find things. i just don’t know what to PICK. my poet and i have a project that i have totally slacked on, because every time i go to my images to pick what works with what, i get anxious and irritated. NO MORE COFFEE this morning please.

god i almost want to just throw them all away and start over.

no. of course i won’t, but … ERRRRGH!

windowsill : new spycam test

i don’t know if i am going to keep this thing (Olympus FE190) or not. even with a trade-in making it almost free. it is *very* tiny and light, and definitely finer than any plastic digital spycam i have used. i hoped i would have the option of making spycam shots that were of a better quality, however. i mean, i can take *anything* and glamorize and grunge it myself. but sometimes i want something clean. i don’t know. the tiny size is pretty irresistible. it has some nasty traits though. like you have to remember to turn off the flash every time you turn it on. perhaps i will read the manual though…i could be wrong on that.

no profound words on the last day of this year. some resolution to be a little more outgoing in the new one. too much isolation and introversion is not good. try to pay off some more debt. continue to simplify. like that.

no big parties at my house. we are celebrating the entire weekend with the trilogy of Lord of the Rings on iMac theatre. maybe some potato chips tonight. heh.

wishing for safety and health for all i know.