cobaltika

orange things seen while walking
it was steamy & hot & rain still threatened,
but i knew i would be a crankyMonster if i didn’t go
move myself
so i took my camera & a plastic bag
& it was good.

i realize i haven’t said/shown much about Texas since returning. i realize i haven’t said/shown much about *anything* lately at all. i remember when almost the first thing i would do after returning from anywhere (even a walk around town, practically) would be run to the computer and make a picture story. i was so prolific. now i see blogspots full of that stuff all the time and i feel … redundant. i’m trying to think of a new way of documenting, but i’m not quite clear yet what it will be. close maybe. to be honest, there is not much to document lately. such sameness. i’ve put myself into a strange little shell.

speaking of blogspot. i’m SO sick of cleaning up the spam comments out of my site journal (wordpress). they are the only comments i get on that journal, for the most part. ha. maybe i should treasure them. so i have been thinking about dumping wordpress and taking up my blogspot journal again. and being like every body else!!! (don’t worry, i will keep livejournal. even though i hate the ads, i LOVE the little lock… heh.) anyway, if anyone has anything to tell me about the quantity of spam comments on blogspot, i would be interested in hearing.

so, about that picture. i meant to have a slew of them to show by now - and maybe i still will, soon. it is from the Benini Sculpture Ranch in Johnson City, Texas. the piece is Gemini, artist is Peter Mangan, and even though i don’t do favorites very well, this is one i liked best. all the squares of glass with objects fused into them, hanging. oh!

i was a little hesitant about suggesting the sculpture ranch for a “field trip”, afraid there would be lots of kitschy things like the big metal longhorn, etc. but i loved the idea of all kinds of sculpture being out in the hill country and it turned out to be quite awesome. everyone agreed. it was a beautiful piece of country and you could drive or walk as you wished, all over. a variety of pieces were scattered about, in a most pleasing way. Texas hill country is really beautiful. and it smells SO good. the check-in point was a HUGE gallery, with an extremely fine bathroom. most of the paintings were Benini’s, with the newest ones being the most pleasing to me. there was something very joyful about them.

well, back to reality - another gray day, laundry, the Red Pieces on the artTable (*finally* working on them again), embracing summer’s heat, still not walking enough, avoiding food, watching a dying cat, re-learning visualization, crushing fear’s wicked head.

next weekend i will see Betsy. in LA! i’m really glad.

things seen while walking this week
(mission for extreme weight loss in progress)

a battered yellow flower of unknown species

dozens of record albums melting in the alley

the first orange daylilies

a small red wagon

the path by the river (but no snakes. whew.)

george w. bush

this is only one of the wonderful things i saw/did while away. the giant Veladora! a huge mosaic created by artist Jesse Treviño in San Antonio. *finally* i got to visit San Antonio again, even for a very short time and on a rainy day. my sister Pam and i had dinner at an old favorite restaurant, El Mirador, and drove around looking at all kinds of downtown/southtown/westside things. it was GRAND. i knew i would still love SA and i DO.

this time, the list of activities would be huge, although i did plenty of sitting around with my mama, too. it was all a whirlwind, i was away for a longer time and i am still sort of reeling. i felt rather depressed driving home yesterday. i really didn’t want to leave.

i guess there are a few pictures. they will come later, i suppose, after i mess with them. what did we do? ate lots of mexican food, and other good food, bluegrass concert in Fredericksburg, swimming with Kathy, sleepover with all sisters and Margaret and even my oldest friend Jeanne! lunch and the awesome Bellini Sculpture Ranch in Johnson City, swimming with Kathy, a 2.5-day visit with my mother, wherein i was able to help her clear out and dust some stuff, the trip to SA, back to F-burg and Kathy’s final kindergarten recitation, lunch out, back to Austin and Whole Foods, making a great dinner of homemade pizza and salad for Margaret and her, um, companion, who was very sweet and i don’t think i embarrassed her *too* much, hike at the green belt, Blanton Museum of Art, Savers (our favorite thrift shop!!), a bag of Torchy’s Tacos at Mayfield park, accompanied by peacocks, grackles and Texas doves (sweet!), Berry Austin for froyo. and all etc. it was all so good. so many activities, such fun. such love.

now i am back. my cat still lives, although he is frail. the A/C seems sort of broken, but it is not *too* hot. i will take back the car and hike home for 3 miles. i am on a mission to lose LOTS of weight. i’ve had it with fatness. i think i will soon cut my hair a little, too. we’ll see…

i’m homesick.

i don’t know why i made this gray and dreary image of a backyard in Fredericksburg, Texas representative of my upcoming (tomorrow!) trip. i know it won’t look like that *there*. just because it looks like that *here* - and has for WEEKS, it seems. gray gray gray. rain rain rain. Texas will be warm and sunny. i will probably sweat and ask for the air-conditioner. i won’t like putting on my swimsuit to get into the big horse trough of a pool with little Kathy, but it will feel good once i am in it. i’ll get to hang out with Margaret. and my sisters. and my mama. it will all be great. if only Betsy could be there, too. but she is in the middle of all kinds of LA things right now and cannot leave. i miss her. i will miss King Tubby and i hope he doesn’t die while i am gone. he does not seem like he will. but my fingers will be crossed. although he is still lame and his left leg and hip are swollen, he doesn’t seem “sick” - just lazier. he doesn’t seem to be in pain and i am glad. he is 11. i know he won’t stick around forever, but … NOT YET, King T! ok?

i have been in a doldrum and it will be very good to go away.
i’m all packed. i hope i can sleep.
bye.

RED!!
and yet more at etsy

i’ve put some of the small red pieces on etsy, and am happily working on the bigger ones. the borders are more elaborate on the big ones, but i am still baffled by what will occur in the centers. something that must explode out perhaps? the smaller ones are more decorative, but i am allowing myself to be more conceptual, maybe even wicked, with the larger ones, despite the surrounding gaiety of the cheerful color. hmmmmm… well, maybe i will actually finish them! so many pieces in the past year have just become substrate for another attempt. at least i am not wasting precious canvases…

i wish i knew a way to make my small pieces more visible - online, i guess, since that is my only source for showing now - etsy is not enough, especially as it is so big and i am just a little fish. i only “advertise” on my journal and a little on facebook and i’m not that popular, so not many people actually go see. it is a little sad. i could be deflated and give up, but i guess i won’t yet. i would really rather have a public place. a live one. where all the bits could hang on rusty nails on shabby walls. and people could come in the door. maybe someday…

otherwise, here i am. same as it ever was. so ready for some change. i’ve become a recluse, me and my computer in my garret. occasional forays out to the poet’s world. not so good. i am actually thinking of canceling my internet service again. i waste so much time stuffing my head with useless information. i think i really *am* an addict. just like popcorn. i just can’t have it in the house… also thinking of canceling netflix. maybe even my website hosting. part of this is an attempt to increase frugality. i’m starting to be nervous about next year. really nervous. i try to be enthusiastic and excited, like i used to be about ending and moving on, but i was so much younger then…

well, another rainy day. fine for staying in at the artTable (will i ever go wander with my camera again?). i can stay in and reclusive all day until this evening when i have to comb my hair, dress right and go to our students’ hooding ceremony. there will be cookies and bagpipers. so … onward. as always.

some recent flowers.
May is all about flowers.

and rain.