cobaltika

still feeling a little beach-obsessed. who wouldn’t be? while walking up the hill this morning bombarded by small icy pebbles. over the weekend and into the week, so far, i have been working madly at the artTable in a very inspired fashion. turning photos into objects, completing collages started 4 years ago - suddenly i know just what to do with them. it is all fun. and it is all going to etsy. new stuff almost every day. i am still thinking about initiating my own web gallery again, with larger pieces and textiles, but there has not yet been the right light and the right time to do the photography required. i am also thinking about (finally) “going out into the world” this year. yes. i think about it almost every year. but maybe this year will be the one i actually do it. anyway…onward.

ok sure. this isn’t very holidayish. but i like it a LOT. so there. and though it might seem meaningless imagery for the end of the year … it is not. even though i have been insanely busy this month, i have been in a state of inner contemplation about the future. now whether i will actually act on any of my thoughts is another thing, but … i am always hopeful!

tomorrow morning we shall dash away in a rental car (NO. *not* hertz!), heading south to texas for a rather long holiday. there will be some sightseeing along the way and a short jaunt to THE BEACH is even planned. (i must remind margaret to bring her fishing tackle.) i am so excited (and tired) that my pre-travel anxiety is almost buried. no headSpinning! (knock on wood and take meclazine before bed, just in case). we will take books and cameras. i might even take my writing book. i don’t think i am going to take artSupplies though, although i will collect ephemera. i might see if i have some crochet stuff, though. mostly it will just be hanging out and playing with family and looking at things. i can’t wait!

i wish all a peaceful and pleasant holiday time.

see you next year!

wheeeeeeeee! loading up my backpack with a few pieces of clothing, a book, some gifties, a tiny box of artToys, a limit of 3 cameras (will my Diana+ come today, *will* it??? please???) and i am off to the airport at the crack of dawn. i will see my margaret and my family and my texas! oh i wish i could also see my betsy, too, but not this time. and i wish i could see my poet there, too, but he stays home to work, write and feed king tubby.

it will all be good. i can’t wait!! see you next week…

it seems i could be liking film again! oh oh oh.
when last i went to texas, i did not realize i had loaded my xa2 with my hoarded roll of costly slide film and when i took it for developing found their slide film processor thing was broken (sad for the only *real* film place in town…) so i put it aside. it is hard to get to Image Works as i am only really out in the car one day per week and they don’t develop on saturday. so i kept it aside. other films have collected, so i decided to take them all on our monthly excursion to Target and get them done. the photoGirl shivered with fear when i asked her if she would cross process the slide film. after i explained, she said ok. and WOW. i liked the prints so much even though the colors are not as odd as i expected. there are also some of the new Bloch building at the Nelson Atkins museum in KC, with the most amazing sky, but the buildings are so backlit and dark, they are not so good, but some i might scan and post later.

then 2 rolls from my new nailpolish camera. oh oh OH. as it is working weekend, i can’t be a scanning beast, but maybe later…

and then this morning i found my wireless keyboard was dead. lucky that unused one was stashed in a cupboard in my office on campus… see me typing away? i think the old one is in warranty. apple makes a lovely computer, but their accessories really suck, i must say. and soon we are going to have Indian food for lunch.

it was a working weekend and a long and tedious one. i have that grumpy feeling this monday morning of “never having any fun never”. i am uneasy and anxious because betsy had many travel misadventures and no one called me to tell me she *finally* made it to taiwan, and then all of them on to malaysia. i guess no news is good news, but this time i am just a little more worried than usual, when they go so far away, so it would have helped to hear for sure. it was hard to sleep last night. but i know when they are off with their dad, they are in another world, having fun. i am glad for that. i am glad they know how to Be Here Now and not drag a bunch of baggage along with them, worries and doubts and obligations. i know they are all fine. this is not whining!

even though it was working weekend, i did manage a little play at the artTable, working on my White On White submission. it looks a little rigid, but i think i might like it. i’m not sure if it is “legal” to post an image of it yet. well hell. it’s MINE, i guess i can. maybe i will.

last week i picked up some films and was quite depressed about them. no magic, although i did like that one very much, and also a couple of shots of the new Bloch Building at the Nelson-Atkins in KC. the other roll was from the Brownie Hawkeye and almost made me weep with its lameness. the other roll was not developed as their E6 machine was broken. i said what?? and looked at the roll of film. great. i was making driveby shots in texas with expensive slide film. oh i can hardly wait to see *that* waste. i think there is something wrong with my vision lately. i am just not *seeing* the way i want, or can’t communicate. or something. perhaps it is just too hot to function.

i just looked down and realized these Tsubo’s look really funny on my feet.

most of last evening and today i have felt an unexplainable euphoria. even though last night was work work work and also this morning. a small break to go to Target and Buy Some Things. every time i am about to go on a road trip i feel a need to do that. i was a traitor to ImageWorks and left a couple of rolls of film at the 1-hour at Target. man. i’m glad i didn’t pay more. my big plan of double exposure with the XA2 did *not* work. no it did not. two of the images were play-withable and came out sort of magicky. i like them. some of the shots from Sunny the CheapCam were pretty good but … well … boring. i don’t even know if i will bother scanning them. oh well! i haven’t had prints made in a long time so now i have many photos to alter! yay?

it was a little sad though, to see such crappy results, because i feel like i have lost something.

i think it might be concentration? i’m not sure. i feel like i can’t think anymore. or something. as if there is just not enough time. always something else needs to be done. i tried to sneak an hour or so at the artTable this afternoon. it was stupid. no time for anything beyond glueing a bit of tissue border. just the mindless stuff. my euphoria dissipated…

oh i don’t want to think about it!

i will have a cold white wine and go back to work. then we will have guacamole soft tacos with lots of salad within and FRIED OKRA and then watch a DVD on iMac theatre. then i will sleep. i sleep like a bear lately. all is well, i’m sure.

church north lawrence kansas : olympus xa2 - real film - photoshop

i have longed claimed that i am not a “Real Photographer” and have mostly avoided film and the math/science aspects of Real Photography. most of my image-capturing devices have been digital. film and developing are expensive. the darkroom is stinky (in an interesting way). and i have limited time and patience. the instant gratification of digital photography is so lovely. artistic risks are possible, even for the cautious.

a few years ago i bought a Holga, then some eBay polaroids, acquired some cheap plastic 35mm cameras to abuse the lenses with nailpolish and scratches. hmmmm. it was so interesting. worth the wait and small expense when cool things happened! soon enough i find i have also a collection of vintage film cameras–a Lomo, Olympus XA2, Smena, a Diana clone, Brownie Hawkeye, Ensign Ful-Vue. there is a plastic box of many films in the refrigerator. i realize i am now “into” film, but still don’t quite see how it happened. i have even caught myself looking at film SLR’s on eBay. migod.

i will say though, that when it is cold and dreary and all looks the same every day for months, it is quite lovely to sit and work with some Real Photographs and film and my beloved–Photoshop.