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the girls are gone now and the party is over. all of the house is “cleaned up” and “back to normal” today. the hired coach is returned. all of the money is gone. the artTable is spotless and ready for ________. i feel very tired and quite blue. i miss them. luckily we shall be together again in a month. is it silly for a mother to have a big crush on her daughters?
it feels awkward to try to write and post images again. after a while, one’s addiction to the net seems to dissipate. but i know i feel unhappy when people i have liked for a long time disappear, so do not wish to be guilty of that. just in case it matters! i’ve been around, catching up on others a bit, still posting new things on my etsy shop very often, but mostly the past week was about the girls, finishing the magazine, sightseeing and food! i did go to the office yesterday and have to *really* go back tomorrow. sigh…
rambling and copious notes for myself below.
where have i been since … last thursday morning? hmmmm. margaret called from dallas, said she felt she was in The Langoliers, at dallas love field, the old airport. only about a dozen people in the place. jumped on to an earlier flight, so i had to scurry. i did! my poet decided to stay home and watch the fort, as our “plans” seemed so sketchy. the rental car was very scary. shivery, wobbly, the tires did not seem to touch ground. called the airport Hertz, after acquiring margaret, went there, traded for a Mazda 5. MUCH MUCH nicer! back to airport. acquired betsy. what fun to have both girls! i was giddy. discussed food plans. we were all starving. drove to the first option. which turned out to be a suburban strip mall place filled to the brim with fluffy whiteHairs. the parking lot was filled with buicks. we had doubts, so continued on. we did have a reservation but not until 7:30 and it was only 6. already dark. driving into KC the girls saw a sign for Harrah’s casino. betsy laughed. “oh that would be so tacky! to have t-giving dinner in a casino buffet”. then we decided it was too crass to pass up. so we began searching. it *had* to be on the river. back and forth in the dark, over bridges and highways. finally the big lights! we ate and ate and laughed very much. it was grand. the girls thought we might eat slowly and spend the rest of the night lingering over countless desserts but we only made it for about 2 hours. oink. then onward to margaret’s sleepover. more finding places in the dark. meeting friends she had not seen for almost 2 years. squeals and hugs. betsy and i onward to the pink cottage. she talked and talked, almost making up for all the times this year i had to hear “my phone battery is dying”. (it is legitimate. her phone sucks.)
next day, up, lazy, except for working on magazine. i think we didn’t actually do anything. betsy was happy to stay in bed, writing her play, cozy with King Tubby. margaret finally came home late. it is strange that i can’t really remember friday? my poet decided we should have an action film and walked downtown to find the 2nd Matrix. that was amusing. eggplant stacks for dinner with betsy. margaret out with friends almost all day. sitting in the big chair reading until late.
saturday morning snow. i hoped margaret would see it, but she slept too late. my poet and i walked downtown for post office, another Matrix and many books at the library. returned to wrestle the girls into action, then to the Bizarre Bazaar, which i had never attended. it was slightly unnerving, to be in such a busy crowded place with too many visuals. i felt exhausted and hot. almost dizzy. i was glad to see , but sorry i missed her altars. i tried to spot signs of commerce, but everyone seemed glazed. i tried to imagine myself doing a show there. i tried to imagine myself out in public with my things. almost a panic attack. yikes. maybe Etsy is all i can manage … although i used to do just fine with open studio. then out and to La Parilla for lunch with the girls. then to Target for their toiletries and etc. driving home the long way. hanging out. loving hearing them chatter. they go out. we stay in.
sunday, up early and out in the car with my poet. when we have a car, we MUST get out of town and go exploring. we travelled to a town we had seen and some we had not. we went to St. Marys, where i have been longing to return, but sunday morning mass time was the wrong choice. too many cars, people and too much sunshine. and the ruin of the cathedral was boarded up. that made me very very sad. a little more exploring, then home. the girls had a good morning of bonding and baking brownies. margaret had a good visit and lunch with the sailor and his new wife. she stated it was one of the best events of her visit. i was glad. she was surprised her nostalgic rememberings of her time here turned a different color in the light of reality. and she HATED the cold here. curling up in the big chair reading while they watched a chick action flick - charlie’s angels #2. listening to their cackling. feeling joy at the presence of both of them. right before my eyes, every time i looked up. i love them so much. then betsy out with a friend, margaret to her room to start packing. did we ever eat on sunday?
monday morning, up and to the airport. boo hoo. at least we will all re-unite next month again. when i know it is going to be months, i am too sad. glad that margaret is feeling happy to go back to her warm town and her own life, rather than feeling torn, but a little sad for her disappointments. betsy and i off to the city, trying on shoes at a big store, being thwarted in our desire for Korma Sutra and a visit to the Bloch - both closed on monday. BOO! but we found another Indian restaurant, also good, and all of our favorite stores on the Plaza were open. good window shopping. the garments at Anthropologie nearly made me weep. awkward asymmetrical bumpy sweaters. so so soft. what lust. we had a fine time. home in the evening, then work work work for me, until late, finishing the magazine, so scattered from working sporadically all weekend. now back in the fluorescent prison today. home, made pesto pasta, the last from the garden (was in the freezer) and buttery bread with tomato salad. betsy goes out, we watch My Brilliant Career. no work tonight!
then today, up at 4:45 and we *still* missed betsy’s checkin for her 6:40 flight. she had to wait until 8. i sat with her. we were so sleepy. then home, cleaning up, attempting comfort with reclamation (is that a word?) or my own bed and the artTable. much laundry. the sewer backed up into the basement. disgusting. there are tree roots down there. to Target to return the worthless air mattress and pump. return the rental car. the cold front blows in. home. scrambled eggs with cheese. so sleepy. finishing this, then my nightie and my nest.