082407
still no pictures. nothing new to show. what a week… mostly it was about having an infection, getting cut with a local anesthetic that didn’t quite take, two kinds of antibiotics, stomachache, lethargy, lumps of taped gauze on my frontispiece, reading and sleeping. and work, of course. and still so hot. not so much today, and it is even a little drippy and damp outside rather than crisp. i wish we could share some of the onslaught of liquid that those around us are having. but nada here.
last weekend i made some tiny painting experiments. with transferred designs. just color and pattern. i will look at them again this weekend, i suppose. i was not very impressed by myself. i did not sew my dotted skirt. i think this is the most dried-out i have been, creatively, in a very long time and it is scary and somewhat depressing. it seems there is nothing inside to translate into something visible. i just make colored experiments. i’m very afraid that my drone-ness is seeping inside and taking over. i wear boring clothes. i don’t dance. i do not feel tenderness toward myself inside. just … nothing. a plodding onward.
this is too maudlin to keep writing, so i will stop, as it is a new weekend coming up, and even if a working weekend, perhaps there will be some new enlightenment, some creative joy. i am always an optimist, if nothing else.