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i have decided to reclaim this journal.
it seems i need a place to write down everydayType things. make notes of things. i keep forgetting small details. sometimes even larger ones. mi poeta asked on a friday evening: “which meal did you like best this week?” he has been cooking dinner most every night. suddenly, i couldn’t remember! it was a little frightening. of course i could get one of those little calendar books like my mother keeps on the table near her nest, but i am a modern woman. i like to keyboard. and i like to do things online. i do have a writing-in book, but only seem to use it when i am away. and i’m tired of livejournal, even though there are people i love there. i tried blogger, other things. i don’t really like using processed blog systems, even though they are so convenient. i want something easy and clean with little fuss, but MINE. maybe this is it. i am also tired of flickr, even though it was interesting at first and there are such nice people there. it is just too … busy. i want to present images differently and even though it is more work to “do it myself”, i think i need to do that. so i will.
as much as i enjoy journalling online, and even though it is obviously an exhibitionary activity, i don’t like the feeling of performance, or “community”. too much pressure to entertain and be social can stifle authenticity (for me). at times, i have fretted over stats and have been self-conscious of “audience”. at first i was a little sad to see a lack of visitation occur, but now i feel sort of a relief and freedom. i am not going to write to an audience. not like that. with an awareness. this is just mine. for now. a documentation of a simple life and some artMaking.