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we are still a sickHouse. it is now tiresome. i went back to work, still coughing and with a headache and just feeling … bad. but i did not want to miss class and there is no one there to do my work. mi poeta seems to be deteriorating and is even sicker. instead of feeling kind, i am feeling cranky. maybe because it seems like men are always big babies when they are sick, women always have to get up and care for everyone. i also just don’t have patience with sickness. it makes me feel very mean, so i am staying back in my artRoom. i glued some more pages, almost two gluebooks full of taiwanese ephemera made this weekend. then what? am i going to do with all these empty books? they have no content. i am happy preparing them in various ways, but have no ideas for content. just like when i made quilts, i could design and make borders till i popped, but no centers. empty inside? it seems so. and then i begin to feel worried and guilty. what if he is really terribly ill and better care should be taken of him? but how? it seems he has not been well since moving and that does worry me. maybe he is not happy here after all? maybe he is disappointed? i am notorious for being disappointing, i guess.
i suppose i am slightly depressed today. worried about my love, worried about my girls, worried about money. bleh. it’s like MONDAY or something.
and what a horrible dinner i made. i won’t even describe it. i really just wanted to eat potato chips, i think. hmmmm. now that i have reclaimed this journal, i don’t even feel guilty about not having a picture in each entry. i am liking this.