040906
awoke far too early, so read 2 chapters of art history before daylight. i do not love, but am enjoying medieval art & architecture this semester … so far. i am SO glad not to be studying spanish again. 4 semesters was enough. and i am still so disappointed with myself. i feel i should KNOW it now. but i would freeze and not remember a word, if a conversation in the language arose. how could i study that long and still not get it? so embarrassing. it is nice to just sit in the big dark auditorium again and look at fine things and listen. i am not really sure why i am doing this. i don’t think i am going to grad school.
on friday, returning from paying the rent, we decided to be “on a holiday” all of the long weekend. then we looked at each other. and asked “how do you do that?” neither of us were sure. we are such aliens. fairly anti-social and certainly not traditional. we decided it meant we would do whatever we felt like. we watched a movie on my laptop on friday night and ate popcorn. that was good. on saturday we took a long hike along the levee, went to the farmer’s market, shopped for food, cooked (more cornbread and ratatou…oh no. never mind.)i guess we read all night. yesterday was the Bad Girlfriend day. sometimes i can’t believe how much shit from my past i still drag around. guilt and shame and resentments. ugh. but i did get an entire book almost made. today we saw The Illusionist, which i thought was lovely, but he thought was pretty lame. since i am in a pretty sappy mood, it was very appealing to me. besides, the concept of magic is always thrilling. we walked at the wetlands for a while, then tried to eat downtown but everything was closed, so came home and had leftovers. laundry is being done. something is wrong with the plumbing and the basement drain is overflowing.
i felt betsy out over the las vegas thing and she did not go “oh mama! i will be so glad if you come!” so i took that as a sign… i guess she forgets how much fun i can be… oh well. i should not spend the money, i know. i wonder what margaret did today? i wonder if i will ever not miss them?