051006
i could not be happier for this week to be finished. it seems i am back into the mode of living for the weekend. i do not like that. i try to maintain a pleasant state of mind on the weekdays, but the office time seems very long lately. i have been carrying cameras every day. mostly just to capture certain views of the most wonderful orange tree. and working at the artTable a LOT. maybe soon i will start to scan some of the pages of the books. they don’t make one bit of sense. they are just like collage sketchbooks or something. uniform and random at the same time. i’m trying to remember exactly what my poet said about them … not like sketchbooks, but some kind of preparatory work. i wish i could remember. he always says things so nicely. but that could be. if just i could expand upon them without getting all freaked out by the canvas. i don’t know. also it seems i am spending (or about to spend) a lot of money. hell. i don’t even know how i HAVE money. but i managed to buy betsy’s plane ticket from boston to austin for thanksgiving. and i am about to buy a new mac so i can give her mine to replace her stolen one. that all makes me nervous. since i spoke to my boss about the possibility of reduction of hours next year, i might be in some kind of hoarding mode, procuring things now knowing i won’t be able to next year. i wonder how long those big jars of Golden Soft Gel Matte will last? ha ha. i will be FORCED to find a new way to generate income. hopefully it will be something fun and creative? this is all just babble. bergman films are rather depressing. i still keep wanting to sew again. the end.