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waking at 5 on a weekday morning and getting an hour or so extra to poke around is one thing, but on the weekend … it is *not* really appreciated. nonethless. here i am. wide awake, wrapped in my blanket, tapping away in the dark. then i will go move some paint around on a canvas maybe. i’ve been spending some time at the artTable, but still not translating stuff in my head to visibility. sometimes i just want to quit. it is so hard.
random thoughts always come to mind upon awaking before arising. this morning:
1. i haven’t made *any* images this week. NONE. weird.
2. there is no way i could meditate. my mind is never quiet.
3. the girls. assorted worries and wonders and wishes.
4. disappointment more extreme than i presented yesterday when i re-packed my coat to send back to LLBean. i had looked forward to it for a year. a black parka with fleece lining and thinsolate. *finally* a NEW allMINE warm coat that is not my $5 1950’s manCoat from Goodwill that i have worn for 5 years. before that i had two of Betsy’s reject coats. the new coat SUCKED. first it was made in Taiwan and the sizing was similar to poor quality slave shop garments. cheap small cut that made me feel sausage-y and claustrophobic. sleeves just a tad too short. the zipper questionable. the worst though, was the noise - squick slick scrick as i walked through the house. YUK. i HATE noisy clothing. no Supplex for me. so back it goes. as does the new tightblackskirt (the other almost tissue thin now), which in the same size, was too large! well, no wonder. it was made in El Salvador. the two long sleeve Tshirts were good. i kept. they were made in Peru. also kept the purple snowboots! oh! i wonder where *they* were made.
sad that i can no longer depend on LLBean for good quality staples.
all i want is a black, SOFT parka, with lots of zipper pockets. i wonder if i shall ever find…
5. coffee.