141206
betsyScape : boston
i am supposed to be working on the magazine, but i wanted to write a little. however i am realizing i might whine, so perhaps it is not a good time. everything is actually quite fine, apart from being very artless and waiting for “holiday season” to be OVER. i do not like december. this year will be staying at home with my poet and betsy, who arrives tomorrow night! margaret chose to stay in texas with my family. they will be so happy to have her. she has been gone for almost a year now. betsy, too. it seems so strange. time passes terribly quickly.
the medieval art history final was over on tuesday. i am glad. i have decided not to take a class next spring. i’m a little burned out and i don’t really know *why* i keep doing it. i’m sure i am too chickenshit and old for grad school and the only thing i would be interested in is an MFA and they would laugh. i just know. besides i don’t have the proper credentials. i wish i could quit dreaming though. mostly i just need to do my work. but i feel i am drifting further and further away. lately i am not even making images. i *am* still looking though. and composing with my eyes. but i never seem to have a camera at hand. bad, huh? i know. partly i am disenchanted with my primary tool. i just don’t love my little Canon. i have never become comfortable with her and she doesn’t even have a NAME. i have been lusting over a Lumix FZ50. and i just might… but in the meantime i need to at least toss the jamcam in my pocket.
and i found my coat finally. a parka from Lands End. black with lots of pockets, my butt is covered and cozy gray fleece inside. LOVE.
i suppose i should work…sigh…