cobaltika

the tealHouse in the next block

has it already been a week since i last wrote here? so much for my good intentions of improved communications…unh. i should go back into the first page of my new journal for the year and scratch out half the shit i wrote there. my good intentions. so far, so bad! i haven’t even used it since then. that journal. yes. bad.

i am awake too early and in an odd mood. the wind is howling outside. i am glad to sit under my flannel duvet with fairy lights around me and write. first here. then in my tale - of which the first draft is almost finished. maybe i will finish it this morning. then there is much cleaning and glamorizing to be done (of the tale, not me). i have been consuming more fantastic and fairy-ish books lately, instead of my traditional diet of lady detective mysteries, etc. that could account for some of the oddness i am feeling (also the fact that it is my long solitary weekend and it has been VERY solitary.) but i need to read those books now if i am trying to include supernatural goings-on, i need to see how other people handle them. so far, it looks like i was doing fairly well, even in my blindness. so i will continue. but i need to not be shy about magical things. and just go for it.

last night i finished The Wood Wife and it was the first book in a very long time that i read slowly because i never ever wanted it to end. it also made me so nostalgic for the Southwest. i have been blocked artWise again and that is depressing. finally yesterday, there was sunshine and i could see at the artTable, so i worked on some new pieces. slowly. putting them away to dry each layer, so i couldn’t sit and judge them. then pulling them out, adding some more, hiding them again. it is tedious. art has never been so hard and i am losing all confidence lately. but i feel like i will die if i stop trying.

it is the restless time of the year. sure i am glad i will go see my family in Texas next month, but i long to go … elsewhere, too. that is the only thing i dislike about being poor now. the inability to travel. anyway. this sounds dreary. but i’m not depressed. just … odd.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 7:18 am and is filed under random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.